Lost underwater

I feel lost, alone... and slightly itchy.

I know it's just the way life goes. Through our life's journey we go over hills, mountains, valleys and sometimes down through the deepest trenches of the earth. Now most of the world's deepest trenches are far below the earth in the deepest oceans, but hey - I'm SCUBA certified.

They taught us in SCUBA training that even the most experienced divers sometimes run out of air. That's when you have to make an emergency assent. It doesn't matter how far down from the surface you are, what else are you to do but try to get to the top before you run out of air.

There's a bright light at the surface, and nothing feels better than the moment where you kick that one last time, and the propulsion lifts you that last bit of distance - you bounce above the waves in the open, abundant of air. You're free.

But I feel like I keep kicking but can never reach the surface. There's an illusion below the water, you can never quite measure the distance with you eyes under there.

One more kick, then I'll be in the air.
Alright then, it must just be one more.

But I feel like I'm putting all the energy I have into each kick. There isn't any left for the next one if I don't break the surface.

This place, the water, is my favorite place on earth. I've always felt at home here, but that doesn't mean I can't drown.

But all hope is not lost. There is always the emergency assent. Just because I can drown, doesn't mean I won't swim.