Better

I'm almost scared to write this, just in case the universe might be tempted to prove me wrong... but things feel better. My house is clean, I understand my job, and I even bought some cute new boots yesterday.


These aren't them, but I like the ones on the top left.

I feel like I'm controlling things, which for a control freak like me, is fantastic.
And yes, I'm aware that at any moment, the world might decide to squish me like a bug, or upset my life so badly that I won't know which way is up, but in the new-ness of the new year, I feel like I can handle it.

I make a list of resolutions every year, just like most people, but even more important to me than setting goals for myself and trying to be better, is making a list of things I've accomplished.

It's easy to remember that I didn't lose the weight or sleep more, or give up sodas like I'm sure I pledged to last year, but it's a little harder to remember what things I did that helped me in ways I couldn't have even thought to ask for at the beginning of 2010. And when I sit and think of that list, it comes to me that I'm okay with not kicking that soda habit, because this past year was the one that I:

-finally learned to whistle
-graduated college
-got a big kid job (WITH BENEFITS!)
-learned how to play roller derby
-dyed my hair blonde (and rocked it)
-moved into my own apartment
-got a pet
-got a tattoo
-got closer with my family (despite the tattoo)
-let myself fall hard for a boy

Looking back, I did okay. Letting myself fall for a guy led to getting my heart broken, but I'm okay now and know more about myself, love and life; Getting a real job led to learning some startling realizations about fairness and how to deal with people; and roller derby, well, mostly it just led to bruises... but just think about how cool it's going to be to tell my kids and grandkids about it all one day.


"See kids, there the paramedics are, taking away that hoe from the Alabama team... it wasn't Granny's fault that she got her nose broken, bitch was back-blocking."

Yes, I made a lot of mistakes this year... I fell on my ass several times both literally and figuratively, but I survived everything. Sure there are things I regret doing, or not doing, but I don't want to focus on that. I want to start this year focusing on the all thing things I accomplished. And hey, even if I fail at that, there's always next year.